14 August 2007
WHAT I AM DOING?
I, officially, QUIT from The One Academy(TOA). It's been 2 months. It wasn't my choice after all. My parents' decision by da way. I am now working as an admin in House of Notebooks, Gurney Plaza because I was so freaking bored at home, and mainly is because, I need da money to pay for my internet connection since no one is willing to sponsor me.
HEALTH
I went for a MRI scanning, and da doctor found no tumor. So, I'm not dying. I thought I was. Have you ever had dis feeling where you were thinking dat you're dying and wanted to do something you really want to but you couldn't...? I had dat feeling during my 1st seizure, dat moment before I went unconscious, I could not breathe, suffocating, and my body spasms.
"oh nooooo...it's time! but......I had yet done something I really want to!!!!"
kkk....So basically, What I am having in my brain is epilepsy a.k.a fits. I am currently taking a controlled medicine called Lamotrigine. Pic has been posted up on da previous post. What I concerned most is......My memory is tremendously degrading. Could be da medication's side effect? There were so many episodes of me having trouble remembering incidents dat happened recently. Very serious! I might forget what you've told me 5 mins ago..or even a minute ago. I'm seeing da doctor again!
But anyhow, I do not have seizure for 2 months, and I think it wont happen again.
FAMILY
The wall between me and family are about to collapse. Its good, isnt it? How did it happen? There was once when I could not tolerate anymore, in front of my parents, tears streamed down my cheeks, and..I told them EVERYTHING, da feeling of hatred towards da way they treated me. It's been 2 years! Finally, everything came to an end. Trust me, It's a good one.
We celebrated Grandpa's birthday on Sat 11 August. Not like what you were thinking....inviting some guests..buffet dinner..cut cake...etc....
It was a different birthday occasion! It was a BIG ceremony, we (da whole family, includes uncles..aunts..cousins) did da ceremony at Gurney Hotel Ballroom, with the attendance of 250 guests, course dinner was served and programs went smoothly! Bro and my eldest cousin sister was the MC (too bad I couldnt be one of them =.= ).....because I am responsible for the slide presentation. As an introduction speech, my bro said "We have hired a MULTIMEDIA EXPERT for tonight's presentation, she is none other than my sister, Vanessa! " Many people praised my slide!!! LoL!!! Thanks to Macromedia Flash 8. =)
STUDIES
I did applied for Sunway University College's Multimedia Systems degree, and surprisingly, da counseling lady called me "You are eligible for our 2nd year Multimedia Systems degree" WHAT A BLESSING! I do not need to complete their 1st year degree. HAHAHAHAHA
SOMEHOW, I have dis feeling where I am actually in between TOA & Sunway Uni. TOA is a SCARY college, I will not deny dat, it's a fact! BUT.....TOA is da best designing college in Malaysia, I'm sorry if you do not agree, but for advertising firms, designing & multimedia companies, they look up on TOA students, because they knew about the greatness of TOA, which produces creative talented students. If you still do not agree, debate with me thru MSN. Something new might not be something good. I am afraid I will regret entering Sunway Uni.
I know what's on your mind right now. "Go for TOA la! What is wrong with you, stupid kid?"
OKAY, MY BRAIN CANNOT AFFORD TO HAVE STRESS!!! I AM A SICK KID!
WHAT I AM INTO?
Of course, I am still a Trance addict. But recently, I fell in love with Gothic, emo art, Gothic emo rock songs, Gothic fashion etccccc............but for your info, rock bands like Chemical Romance will not be included into my GOTHIC list. I would categorize them as COMMERCIALIZE TEENAGE EMO PUNK ROCK tunes dat you often hear from radio channels like HITZ.FM, FLY FM...and dat so-gay MTV channel ! It's not about your MTV commercials or your VJ's. I hate your random HIP HOP MTVs!
Apart from Gothic, I am quite into Japanese stuffs. Influenced by Selangor buddies. I think L'Arc~en~Ciel are great in their music! Their rock tunes varies a lot! Hyde, their lead singer, has an excellent voice. First, I was addicted by their Forbidden Lover song, then Sell my Soul, later Seventh Heaven...etc.....Hyde's solo album was good either, Season's Call was nice to hear. The other day, I found myself Hyde's original solo album at Tower Records, but I didnt buy it. If L'Arc~en~Ciel's album were to be placed on dat shelf, haha..he will be mine.
Do as Infinity..another Japanese band, are quite good too. Rakuen is my fave Do as Infinity song! But too bad, Juan told me dey split up few years ago..sooooo...sigh!
Besides J-rock, I am currently watching Great Teacher Onizuka (GTO) anime. I used to hate anime before I came to TOA. LoL. What a surprise! Onizuka is da main character of GTO, he ROCKS!!! I like so muchhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I AM SUPPOSED TO COMPLETE ALL EPISODES by NOW, but THANKS to MY F****** MAXIS BROADBAND!!!! I WANT TO STRANGLE YOU!!!! you enjoy disconnecting, eating up my msn messages, stop functioning when you're feeling F****** LAZY, "in-ing" "out-ting" my msn, and acts like an old GRANDFATHER!!!! But your MAXIS father made me pay 68 bucks per month, don't you think it's UNFAIR?????????????????????
EMO
I need counseling from someone very open-minded. I used da word OPEN-MINDED and I mean it. Sometimes I just hate myself for being THAT. If I were to be someone else, an ordinary typical girl, I would have make my life much easier. What I am today were to be blamed by my previous actions. I am all alone in da darkness of hell. I am patiently WAITING for a miracle. I see bruises on my heart, they are getting more, and much likely to cover da whole piece of my heart. Let it bleed! and send me away from dis world!
Some close friends told me: " you have not found da right guy, dat is why you're being like dis."
Oh I'm sorry, I trust my feelings.
It's not because of WHAT "you" are, it's because of who you are, I do not care what others might think, i do not give a damn of what u might be in future, as long as da person is YOU! Believe me, I see you in my future. I wanted to tell you, but I do not have the guts. I am so afraid of being hurt I am paralysed into non-action. Sometimes I tried pulling da distance between us closer, but you do not participate in it. but No matter how, I am going to find ways to take my 1st step. There is no one else in dis world but you.
STRESS
I HATE MY JOB.
