Look...
I have been trying to keep myself calm, stay cool and accept the fact.
But, toleration is over.
I'm just farking sick. What da hell am I doing, for all these while? Is this what I want?
People tend to work towards their goals. Knowing that the path they are taking is what they want, regardless of stress they might be facing.
What's about my goals?
In the year of 2005, I gave up on my HSC course in INTI, with a very low UAI, but I know I was on the wrong path, and it's not too late because I was young. Yeah..but at least I managed to pass all my subjects, with a cert.
Because of me, dad's RM9000++ was a waste.
From the day onwards, when my decision comes to final, Multimedia Design was my choice, and I, sort of like, made a promise to myself, dat I shouldn't let my parents down again.
I was confused between TOA and LimKokWing. Thank god, well actually, thanks to Winson whose my ex, for his advice.
I did not make it to the orientation on the 1st day, but on the second day, while paying fees, there was this girl(damn noisy) which happens to be Juan standing next to me at the counter, and then proceed to the auditorium. There's another girl standing alone at corner caught my attention, she looks like a mixed. Oh yeah, so the girl is Normah. I introduced myself to Yi-Wen who was sitting next to me and Yin May was next to Yi-Wen. I have 2 friends now. The talk was boring(it's about da same as every colleges la..) As soon as it ends, one of the lecturer announced saying that she is going to seperate us into classes. and I was like..WTF? Okay, I'm not so lucky all these while, so..we 3 are going to be separated. F.I.N.E.
Praying..praying. Please don't....please don't.
"For class CD061-1, name, name, name, Liew Juan Juan, Leow Yi-Wen, name, name, Normah, namessss, Tay Yin May, Vanessa Tan etc........"
I just can't believe that!
As days go by(sounds like name of a song), we fell in love with the class. Knowing Boon, Carson, Keen, Bucgene, Zarith, Derrick, Jamie, and many more la..just everyone from that class, was fun! I'm sorry I can't name everyone since it's getting late now and my mind's shutting down.
Arh..I should stop talking about the class now, getting more and more cheong hei, since this should be an emo post. =/
When it reaches the 3rd Sem, we're separated into our own major.
For major, My Multimedia classmates were great too. xD We don't play "one man show", instead, we helped each other since the course was really tough. Thank god we had pro lecturers, I miss Yenni a lot!!!!!
Everything went on smoothly, I know I was on da right track, it was challenging, tough, but interesting, fun, and I just love it very much. I was enjoying it very much, knowing that every subjects were useful, it's not a waste.
Honestly, I have never been so hardworking in my whole life, I don't skip class, I rarely do last min work unless too busy, and yeah of course sometimes I slacked a lil, let Boon complete my figures while helping him in computer graphic assignments(switching roles, LoL)
Since I was just an average student in high school, dun care much about stuffs, kind of playful =.= It was so much different in TOA, I gave my everything for studies.
What happens when a fisherman goes fishing, caught many fishes and suddenly there was a storm while on his way back to the land?
I'm just another useless fellow. Leaving TOA for a useless course. I know I've been ranting about this non-stop, but I just can't help it. The first week was good since the course is pretty relaxing. It took me a week to reminisce of the past, emo-ing every night as usual, I've gained a new perspective yet letting go of my ambition. I was feeling empty whenever I think about it, about the course. It was so empty that sometimes I lose track about what I was doing. No one could ever feel the emptiness inside me. I've made da wrong decision. I told friends I regret taking the course and should have continue in TOA, everyone's reply was "Your health does not allow you to take this course." Do you know the bitterness I felt inside whenever they said that? Oh it's because of me having that idiotic epilepsy, I'm gonna make myself fall into the hole of hell. Is that what I'm supposed to have? Yet, I know my friends are right, that's the only thing affects me. THE ONLY THING? Ruin my life? my goals? UNFAIR!!
(This sentence - P and C). It's a shame! How can this happen in a big so-called Uni-coll like this? Honours degree? WHAT DA HELL.
And I've never enjoyed any of the subjects and classes because I know they're stupid and useless. That's the reason why I skipped my class so often. When someone asked "why do you enjoy skipping classes?" I said, "Oh, I'm lazy to attend. Boring. Lazy." No! It's not about that, but there's no point telling them the truth since no one can help. I hate the classes, I don't feel like attending, how i wish everyday is a Saturday.
Yeah, the course itself does not bring motivation, how can you expect your students to be motivated and make them love Multimedia. The way my classmates explained on their Graphic Design course they gotta learn during da 1st year made me so guilty. Guilty. Learning packaging for Multimedia course? I felt pity for my classmates, they weren't taught Adobe Photoshop at all. =(
My knowledge=junk, after the graduation. There's no need to look for a job. Be a couch potato. That's the best way to kill my own ambition! WHO'S TO BLAME?
Mainly, about studies. Partly is about.........
F I T S - Only 4 letters. But it got my life upside down.
I never feel like telling ppl about my stuffs. but yeah, thanks to Sze Chia, CS, Matthew and Yi-Wen spending your midnight, middle of da night or sleeping/napping hours, listening about it. I know how retarded it was to crap about my life but........I'm upset. I really am.
