And..Hi Penang! It’s me again! Just got back from PJ 5 days ago! Very rare, decision like this would have in my mind. Well, the feeling was like..myself putting a burden on people I lived with. So no other choice, I am back!
I do actually have a topic to blog today. It’s about people. People around me. In general, I personally believe the existing of this statement “Many people walk into our life, those who have been there for us all the time was never been appreciated by us, instead we ignore them for the others. Until one day, we were guilty and feeling regret when these people decided to walk out from our life.” I mean, it happens to most of the people in this world. I am always one of the idiot. During my 7 months stay in Penang, I’ve been thru life that never I would expect to have. I’ve seen and feel new things. If I was healthy all the time, I will not be knowing these people who eventually walked into my life. A few of them had became my close friends/hang out friends. Previously I’ve been complaining non-stop to a friend that I’m feeling so lonely in Penang because 90% of my high school buddies are mostly in KL, Melbourne, or even worse, United States. Funny as it is, I am enjoying myself these days with my new buddies! HAHA! After I got my freedom from being a “prisoner” from House of Notebooks, honestly, I wasn’t feeling that “well” (emotionally), pretty obvious in my few previous post. =.= nah..I am not blaming anyone for this piece of shit. The only one who’s gonna be blamed is ME. I was stupid enough. To be honest, few months ago, I fell in love with a person whom I knew during my 7 months stay here. That person which I would refer as “my angel” just somehow walked into my life and swept me off my feet completely. I was caught by my angel’s love spell and spent my entire time thinking and waiting for this angel. Everything around me was blur. Very blur. Drops of tears could not be count, nothing was worthwhile to me but my angel. Until one fine day, I sat in front of my lappie, had a deep thought about myself and my life. What have I done? Why I’ve been so depressed? Do I need to? I got an answer. It’s all because of me! I’ve chosen a path that would lead me to the dark, I’ve focus too much on the dark side and has completely forgotten about the brighter ones. People whom I should concern, should appreciate, has been always there. That’s nothing more powerful than to have these people! How could I? When I was down, they were the ones who have been there, lend me an ear, comfort me, cheer me up and willing to spend their time with me. Guiltiness was there. But Thank god, it wasn’t too late, they are still there for me. I love you people! Muackkkssssss…..
And to my angel, I wish I would be there for you, I wish I could give to you all my love, I wish to see you always, I wish we could spend more time together, Unfortunately, none of them has come true. I remembered, you told me you would be there for me when I need you, but you weren’t there when I really need you. I’m not trying to emphasize on the conversation below, it’s just one of the example.
(6:08 PM) L.N.O: you need me i'll always be there for u wan...k??
(6:08 PM) L.N.O: lately i',m a bit to busy....
(6:08 PM) L.N.O: so sorry k?
Is this a lie? You were lying to me just to make me feel better? You were wrong! I really miss those times, those moments when we could spend our time together, that was the happiest moment in my life to have someone I love beside me and spent most of my nights sms-ing with you. I do not play with SMS in the 1st place. It went smoothly, but it all doesn’t last long, I do not know what has happened, we just ended up as acquaintance (or nicer, normal friends). You promised you would spend more time with me before I got back to KL, but you did not. You don’t even care to message me at all, and I find it so hard, so difficult to pass you a Christmas present, you do not even care to ask me about it. Do you always acted this way when a friend tries to pass you something? You asked me out for a drink so I could pass to you your present on the night before I left for KL, you said you would message me about the confirmation about the time since you were so busy that you couldn’t confirm if you can make it. So, Did you message me at last? You don’t even give a shit about it. I was waiting the whole night for your message do you know that? You said you were busy, but it seems like, you would have the time to watch all cinema’s movies but never even bother to ask me out. Okay I’m fine, this is your life, I don’t mean to interrupt in it, but I’m sorry to say, you’re betraying our friendship, even if I’m feeling disappointed or sad, I doubt you would even bother to know about it, that’s what I am thinking right now. AND PLEASE, please do not tell me things like “Just to tell you that I’m still alive, since you don’t even bother to message me” or “forgotten about me d izzit?” OH COMMON’ Who would never bother about the person they love so much? WHO? If you think there is such a person, so I’m telling you now, I’ve been always thinking about you, I checked my phone often to see if there’s your message, I wish that I could see you often….and last but not least, I do not know how long or fast it’s going to last, but I am very sure, at this moment, I’m still there for you.
