"Done with da 3 big boxes!", I said. As excited as I was during my 1st year in TOA, or maybe even more. It's been so obvious, like everyone knows about it. Counting down the days, in less than a month time, van will fly like a bird! I just can't wait! can't wait! The semester starts on the 3rd of January. =)
On Monday, 3rd of December 07, like never before, I got up from bed excitedly at 6am in da morning, my eyes were wide opened, my body was as energised as dat lil thing from Energizer battery. The whole journey took about 7 hours, from Penang to Taiping(to pay my bro's summon =.=") and to Ipoh then finally PJ. My bro stays in Putra Heights, so we clashed in his place for few days, save da money for petrol instead of luxurious hotel. Da next day, mom dragged me up at 8am, I was damn obedient though was so tired playing with da 2 lil dogs da night before and got allergic with it, but I really love tiny animals, especially puppiesssssss!! We went ahead to Sunway Uni looking for a lady named Caryn and also Vanessa Lee whom I contacted thru emails. After some marketing sessions, we talked to the PIC of Computer Technology. Fark it! "The 2nd year Multimedia Systems degree intake starts in March", a confirmation by that lady. My brain paused. Then, I felt heat rushing thru my entire body and up to my head. A feeling of disappointment, shocked and unbelievable! WTF WTF WTF. I was quite emo later on. Luckily my meet up with Boon and Hui Chyi calmed me down. Instead I was somehow quite happy to be back to Sunway after for so long! I felt like, "I'm home!"
On the 11th of Dec, I was surprised by his sms. Rarely I would spend my time playing with sms, but not for his case. We text-ed quite a lot when I was still working. That moment of us hanging around after work could never be repeated again. After I went away from the workplace, we rarely talked, not as much as before at first, then completely none. We had dinner/supper for only 2 times, and he was much busy and exhausted after changing his job which requires him to wake up so freaking early and got back when the sky has turned dark. I do not know if still happens to him right now since we did not talk at all. I wanted to tell him how disappoint I was about the intake issue, hoping that he will lend me a shoulder, but things aren't the way I want to, he did not even reply my sms when I told him that I only will be goin back on march. I remembered he said he will be there for me when I need him. Or maybe he was just joking like he always said. I doubt he cares for me. Being quite deranged as I walk in the gray zone.
I got into the bus on the 13th Dec, on a journey to Singapore. On my journey, I decided to send him a sms to inform him about my trip, too bad again, he did not reply.
Been so busy for the last 2 weeks, an unpredictable "distortion" came right thru my mind. My house is now under renovation, spending most of my time in office where I could spent most of my time for privacy. The more I flash back on my life, the more miseries I could see and it hits my emotional nerve, I broke down, incontrollably torture myself, not physically, but mentally. I've wasted my precious 7 months doing nothing while seeing people working hard to reach their goals. Oh, wait! and another 3 months to go. 10 months! A year! Fark epilepsy. To whoever who sets my life miserably, IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? Caught me into this trap, got sick, came back, worked in that place, knowing him and at the end torture myself, and wasted my 10 months. I do not know what happened to da emo me, put them as my personal msg in messenger. "my life is MEANINGLESS, I've wasted my 10 months doing nothing." I guess that sentence caught Nicole's or to be called Rcenic's attention, a friend whom I know from fridae. Her advice was damn aggressive but yet has awaken me! Isn't that amazing? Sorry, I'm not gonna say it out here, LoL! So I'll keep it safely like a treasure in my mind and use it whenever I need it. HAHAHAHA. Thank you.
It's already 4am in the morning, still I could not get my mind of him. I was thinking, has he forgotten about me? totally? Have I been erased from his mind? Each time I think of him, I have this feeling like I really really desperately wish to talk to him, but my hand trembles, my heart beats faster as I took my black phone. I just couldn't do it.
Congrats! I was brave just now. I messaged him. But it was around 3 am in the morning, no no! should never expect a reply from him. Do you think he will reply in the morning? Would he read my message not as a junk but something worthwhile? Will I get upset if he didn't care? We'll see. Welcome to a world of insanity!
