i hav too many things in my mind..yet i couldnt figure out what da hell was dat?
its not dat i dun hav much free time dis sem, juz a 7 weeks short sem with only 4 subjects.
i realised i'm having lotsa lotsa lotsa problems, sometimes life is jus so unfair!
should be learning perspective instead of blogging. but i jus need to release my emotional feelings.
u knoe, its not easy to hate someone though u really wan to. 10 mins ago, i went visiting some ppl's blog, after reading the latest post, i dun feel well, i jus dunno why. emotional feelings always come and go..wasting my time, yet i could do nth. i need to hav a really good mood to complete my work. maybe to me, some other things are more important than studies, but then generally, i dun feel so. i'm weird. so weird dat i juz dun even knoe who i am.
while listening to joey mccintyre's stay the same, with the lyrics "don't u ever wish u were someone else.....you were meant to be..the way u r exactly.....don't you ever say you don't like the way you are.........." u knoe what..i seriously hate myself. why i was meant to be like dis? i used to love myself, til when the time..all problems arise..and never go, then i juz dun believe in myself anymore, i hate my freaking life.
when u need a word to describe bout my life, i'll tell u one now, which is "BAD-LUCK"
never achieved any goals..never been happy for the past few years, never had a dream come true.
ppl adviced me to stay happy and dun think too much, then i ask u, how to stay happy when u r always in bad-luck????? HOW? every single thing i do, definitely will face difficulties.
mom spent so much money (RM4643), invest on me, bought me this karen(my laptop), u should be thinking it must be a very great one, but seriously i tell u, i hav been facing lotsa diff types of troubleshooting since the 1st day i use her. at least 5 times a week i'll hav to force myself to check on the internet about all problems, joining forums, but i still couldnt get any answers. imagine dat, i got karen on sat morning, and i accidentally corrupted the whole system on sun, i reformated da whole thing. it wasnt successful afterall, blame media direct software. so, da dell email team taught me the right way to reformat dis stupid lame system, then i got it right, installed media direct. but then, suddenly, problems occured again. right click menu appears always, electric shocked when typing..etc.
soon after dat, was told by a dell technician friend dat i should actually install some particular software after reinstalling the windows. so..no choice, again reformated the freaking system. i was so blur and careless dat i even deleted my external hdd's partition. i lost all my "precious" movies/series. i nearly cried like hell. luckily, i was smart enough to use my partition recovery to get bac my beloved files. karen made me reformat the windows for so sosososososos many times, dat i couldnt even count. yet..after doin all dat, stil was facing all dat shit. later wireless probs, wasted house phone bill, calling dell for hours, now again i'm facing wireless probs. then stupid right click menu, electric shocked, power management monitor craps. so ANNOYING!! darn. see, i need to call dell once again.
not only dat, few weeks ago, i've been thru a tough moment, friends were like scolding me for doin all dat. it wil kill myself man, but i stil need it somehow. should better stop doin dat d. =.=
then my stupid right leg and stupid brain, why da hell u wanna make me feel numb dat i cant even cross da drain. u're trying to waste my dad's money for a brain specialist. sux. i hate my leg. then here comes my bone structure. not gonna mention here. weird sickness.
then communication prob with some very very very close group of ppl, etc etc..
lonely..miserable life here. someone made me feel all dat!!!!!! i should b living in penang right now if i dun follow my heart. i hate u! yet i cant. =(
and oh my god, i'm gonna fail perspective. i hate perspective, so freaking hard, and whats da point i learn all dat???? izzit dat u need me to apply perspective skills when i'm editing my html code? so farking lame. thank you. i dun need dat.
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too many things. not gonna continue. getting more and more EMO. i hate being emo. its not healthy. but somehow, i dun hav a healthy lifestyle anymore. thanks to TOA.
